There are times when I would love nothing more than to have a burning bush moment. You know, like Moses. You’re walking about and bam, right in front of you is this bush, burning without being consumed, and then the bush starts talking to you! But that’s not going to happen.
The preschooler will hop in my lap and put her head on my shoulder and say, “Mama, do you know that Jesus love me? And I love him. And he loves you?” I hold her close and say, “Yes, he does.” We sit quietly together and just listen for the voice of God around me.
There are days when I would love nothing more than to have a quiet moment with the Lord. I have the best of intentions to get up “earlier” and open His Word, dive in and immerse myself in His love and guidance. But no matter how much I plan and try, the moment my feet hit the carpeted floor, I hear little feet padding behind me.
The toddler comes over and signs for “milk.” So we snuggle together in the rocker and have a quiet moment together. God gave him ten fingers and ten toes, perfect for counting “Hail Marys.” I look at his little ears and long eyelashes and know that this is a masterpiece that God knit together in my womb for greatness and I feel happy. I can sit quietly and just listen for the voice of God around me.
There are days when I would love nothing more than to spend time at the feet of Christ in Adoration. To kneel before him and just sit in his presence and just be in Him. To thank him for my life and that I have faith that everyone of my steps in ordered according to His Will. To give Him my burdens and just rest in Him for a minute. But that’s hard to do.
The second grader will sit down with her brother and sister and start reading them a book. For a time, the house is quiet and calm and I can choose to fold another load of laundry or empty the dishwasher or some other mindless task or I can just listen for the voice of God around me.
I could really get down on myself on how I am not doing my all to put God first. That my life is just too chaotic to be the daughter of the king. That others are doing this Catholic thing better than me. And that’s just what the evil one wants me to believe. He wants me to believe that since I am doing it wrong, I should just stop. Because I can’t spend an hour in adoration that I shouldn’t bother with the rest.
But it really is all in the little things. We think that God will be impressed by grand gestures but we are told to come to Him as children. We are told to be humble, kind and trustworthy. That it’s not about how big you can go, but rather in doing small things well.
That’s where He is found, in my beautiful chaos.
Until next time!
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